What’s wrong with me? I’m such an ^%&* %$&^%$ when I want to be. Ask my wife. How can it be that for four or five hours, however long it’ll take to write this post, I’m a reasonable, faith-filled, God-centered man, but then I go home and I can be rude and crass and short-tempered and it’s as if I never showed up to write this. I’m a regular Joe when I get home in other words, maybe worse, but no one special. Catholic Blogger or not, I’m just like everyone else. Cut me open and I bleed sin.
When I get home I’ll be on edge. Literally scratching the walls and biting my nails to do something, anything. Waiting around is prison. After writing this because I’ll be a ball of energy. My wife can quickly identify this sickness. She’ll look at me and say, “Why don’t you go for a run?” But she won’t say that today because we’ve got a baptism this afternoon. So I’ll have to wait around a few hours until we have to go but until then I’ll pace and ask a million times if we’re ready to go yet.
In an effort to occupy me, my wife will give me endless tasks, everyone of which I’ll protest because it’s in my nature to push back and question why someone is burdening me with work. I’m predicting the future here, but I’m really praying that God intercedes and makes today different and helps me to act in the opposite of what I just described.
Julia, my wife, is who God wanted me to marry. He got her ready for me and all my crazy habits and nuances. Likewise He got me ready for hers. Yes, you’re not perfect either — Julia, but you’re as near perfect as can be.
The good news is that you can meet someone as messed up. What? Yes. You can meet your Catholic Match. There is hope. If someone as messed as me can find someone to love their imperfections, then surely there is hope for you.
At the tender age of 21 I met Julia at what was then the York University Catholic Chaplaincy (YCC). She was 19. We were at YCC because we went to a secular school. Enough said. Jesus was needed to get through every minute of it. And I was around others who felt and believed the same way. We weren’t up there to necessarily meet someone, but when you put a few dozen Catholic twenty-somethings in an environment where they are filled and nourished by spiritual direction, the Sacraments, Mass, and each other, things are going to happen. People gravitate towards each other, deep friendships form and one thing leads to another, especially when a formal is creeps up and you need someone to go with. In that environment I met my future wife. So what the heck does that have to do with you? Everything!
Where are you looking for who God wants you to be with? Some random dating site. Or if you’ve mustered the courage to ask in person, the local bar? If you want a Catholic, faith-filled husband or wife who fears God and more than anything wants to do God’s will, and who as strongly feels called to the vocation of marriage, then finding who God has waiting for you is not going to happen in a secular institution, online or otherwise. Okay, it might, but the odds are against you and why not make better use of your time. You’re not getting younger. You might not be in university anymore and able to go to the Catholic chaplaincy to meet people, but you can still take a similar approach. Let me explain.
Do you go to Mass every Sunday? You’re not alone. Instead of quickly genuflecting on your way out after Mass to grab a coffee at Starbucks before the rush out of the parking lot, take a look around your parish. Scan your parish bulletin board. Are there gatherings of people your age for prayer or bible study or whatever? Bingo! That’s your “Catholic chaplaincy”. You might not have signed up on your own for these things, but go and do it because first and foremost you’ll be filled with and in the presence of other faithful. Not only will you be fed spiritually in the group or ministry of your choosing but you’ll be with other people just like you, Catholic singles looking for whomever God has waiting for them. Things will unravel like you won’t believe. You’ll meet people, maybe even the person.
However, if you happen to attend a church where the median age of parishioners is 90 and there are only nine of you, don’t worry. You, my friend, need to turn online. Not all dating sites are created the same or exist solely to turn a profit. I found a site that stands out. I’m sure it’s one of many. I just haven’t found the others yet. It’s a site specifically for Catholic singles and paces emphasis on helping you meet the spouse God has waiting for you. In their own words the site, “caters specifically to Catholics who value their faith.” It dives into your faith and exposes it for others to see. The site is Catholic Match. Online dating is not for everyone. One of many ways to go about meeting someone. This post has barely scratched the surface.